Instead, I am indoors and in my bed. We opened some windows today and I am enjoying the light breeze in our sunny yellow bedroom. Cubby's Halloween costume is in its beginning stages and I have moved into a phase of being s l i g h t l y depressed. I don't think I'll plummet into the "depths of despair," very little chance of such melodrama when just a few feet from my door I can hear the pounding of two small dinosaurs stomping down the hallway. The Bear hopped onto my bed this morning and asked how I was doing. He told me he missed me and chatted about his trains while patting my arm and giving me kisses. He tied a string around my heart and let it float up to the clouds like a balloon.
Its really hard to be on bed rest when you have two little ones. They need me 100%. I need them 200%. I miss taking complete care of them and my home. But today I realized, bed rest is also much easier because they are around. Every time I start feeling really down about being stuck in bed, only a few minutes will pass before I hear little footsteps coming to a pause by my bedroom door. Then the slow, strained turning of the doorknob just before the door is carefully nudged open to reveal a small face with a big smile and happy blue eyes. I love watching them scramble on my bed, shouting happy greetings and giving me all their kisses. Mmmmm.
It's impossible to be depressed when those visits occur so frequently throughout the day.
And yet, for all that happiness, I still really miss my garden. The day I hit full term, I am going to buy three new clay pots and a bundle of plants. I'll pick out packets of snapdragon and larkspur seeds and set to planting them. I'll try and make it beautiful for my new little son. And I am absolutely positive that while I'm working, I'll have frequent visits from my two boys. They'll burst into the garden, full of energy and arms loaded with their gardening tools, ready to help Mama with her flowers.
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