Being on bed rest is incredibly difficult and having to do it while you are in the midst of raising two toddlers is AWFUL. There are so many things I am missing out on right now, so many formative, teachable moments that I want to be there for! In my motherly pride I sometimes feel like I have to be there every second to teach them or the opportunity will be lost. But in the past weeks, my boys have kept on growing and learning from the people around them. Wonderful people. My husband and my mother in particular. They step in and guide, correct, teach, and love them. I am so grateful for them, its a hard lesson for this control freak to learn but I am most definitely learning it.
1) My one break each week is on Wednesday mornings. The prison doors are opened and I am allowed a few hours out of the house for BSF. I look forward to this all week long. J attends on Monday nights and the boys attend their class as well. The Bear LOVES his teacher, Miss D. He asks for her everyday and wants to go to her "house" (classroom) in order to play with her and his new friends.
Now I am just flat out going to brag on my child right now and I don't feel bad about it for a minute. My boys are gorgeous. The Bear looks like an angel and now that he is talking, he is melting hearts everywhere. I can't tell you how many people have come up to me since we started BSF asking if I am his mother and after the affirmative reply, they start telling me how much they love him. (Cubby gets his share too, by the way). The usual comment is, "He is so unbelievably sweet and kind!" When I drop him off at his class, he bounds in with joyful greetings to his friends and teachers, "Hi! How's it going? My name is___! I missed you Miss D, you are amazing!" I watch his teachers and assistants crumble to the ground with huge smiles on their faces and outstretched arms. He is just so gosh darn sweet, it almost hurts.
This week when I came to pick him up from his class the teacher stopped me at the door. She proceeded to deliver the following message:
"Your son is just so incredible. We love him so much. He is the youngest one here by quite a bit but he is far more verbal than most of the other children and everything he says is so sweet and loving. He listens to all of our directions and follows them the first time we give them. He participates in everything, he sings all the songs, and he is a joy to be with. He means so much to us all."
The little man in question appeared as she finished speaking and said, "Thanks for everything, have a nice day!"
You can imagine the pride. Oh my, the pride and the love and the overwhelming feeling of... well how else can I say it but, "THANK GOD HE TAKES AFTER HIS DAD!!!"
I know he is a truly unique kid. He has a wonderful heart and I really am proud of him. His teacher's words were such a gift of encouragement to me as well. Motherhood is so tough and these little moments when someone stops you and says how great your kid is... mean the world.
***Side note: The Bear definitely had his moments of horror last year. I must keep it real and tell you that he DREADED his first few weeks at BSF. He did not run in on day one tooting butterflies and spreading magic everywhere. In fact, on the third week, he was so upset about being in class that he exorcist VOMITED all over the carpet and managed to nail a few children standing nearby in the process. I cannot tell you how awful it was walking down the hall and suddenly spotting the children's director waiting for me by his classroom door with her arms folded across her chest, left eyebrow slightly arched and a definite "we need to talk" look etched on her face.
Thankfully, he adjusted a few weeks later and Mr. Sunshine has managed to wipe the projectile incident from everyone's minds with his charm.
2) My Cubs is a sweet boy too. He really loves people. He loves hugging and kissing us. He loves smiling and waving. He has his share of devoted fans at BSF as well. Its those huge blue eyes, beautiful smile and incredible magnetic charisma. Really, he is quite the delicious bundle of cuteness.
However.
Ahem.
Cubby is a passionate man in other directions as well. He is quite aggressive when it comes to getting what he wants. Be it a cookie or a toy car or my attention, the boy will use anything and everything at his disposal to get what he wants, including dead body weight and his teeth. I noticed his behavioral issues early on and knew we had a long hard road ahead of us. J and I had a come to Jesus talk and we decided that we would deal with this, head on. It would not be fun. We would probably want to quit halfway and just let him be. He is after all only a baby, right? But I knew what would happen... the eventual product of that line of thinking. I had a few of them in my preschool class. Miniature bullies, little tyrants that threw tantrums all the time and hurt their peers. We decided to be proactive and work hard with our boy. We believed in him, we knew he could conquer this and walk away a much better person.
Affirmation of this decision came a few weeks after our conversation. Cubby, at 14 months of age, BIT a five month old baby in the nursery because he wanted the baby's rattle. HORROR. I can not even begin to describe the HORROR. When your child is the biter, people look at you differently, they judge your kid. It really sucks. My heart felt so heavy because I know Cubs and how loving he truly is. I knew the biting stemmed from other frustrations.
As the weeks progressed he started biting his brother all the time. He started hitting too. I wanted to cry. It got much worse before it got any better. I wanted to quit. But we didn't, we just kept loving him and disciplining him. It was exhausting.
In the past few months he has improved drastically. No coincidence that this occurred alongside his increased capacity for speech and communication. Now that he is talking much more, Cubby has other ways of expressing himself. But beyond that, the frustration and aggression have turned a 180. I am so proud of him. Our greatest moment of encouragement came this evening at my parent's home. The Bear and Cubby were watching Cars in the family room while I was in the kitchen getting some water. I heard an ominous THWACK! and the familiar sound of the Bear crying in surprise and hurt. He came running to me, rubbing his head, huge tears rolling down his cheeks. I began to comfort him, "Did he hit you?" I asked. Before I could even look up, Cubby appeared, concern and remorse etched on his face. I didn't get a chance to scold him. He reached out and rubbed his brother's head and said repeatedly, "I'm sorry."
One small moment that means a mountain of progress for us as parents and for him as a person. I am so proud of him. He is listening, he is learning, he is growing as a person. That was without a doubt, the single most encouraging event in our parenting of Cubby. I can't say it enough, after all of his hard work and ours, he did it! And I am so gosh darn proud of him.
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