discipline

The word discipline has been uttered with great frequency around the bungalow these days. I'm certain most houses with one or more toddlers become quite familiar with the term. We've been mulling it over for awhile. Discipline, not merely as a code of conduct that we expect our boys to follow, but as a standard for our family as a whole.

I used to hate the word discipline. It always reminded me of a much dreaded substitute teacher at my old high school. She sounded like Bill Clinton when she spoke and she had a stern no nonsense eye that always seemed to know our every move. Discipline rooted in rules and wicked substitute teachers always feels like a prison. But over the years I've come to recognize discipline as the most freeing practice when understood as an art of living in the Spirit. Instead of trapping or stifling me, discipline has led me down a broader path of joy! As a mother, I want that same joy and freedom for my boys. Disciplines of the home are needed before they are old enough to completely grasp disciplines of the spirit, or so I assumed. What a discredit to my children. I'll not start the low expectation game this early in life. I know they can learn discipline, the wonderfully freeing kind, at any age.

I decided long ago that I would not ask anything of my boys that I do not do myself. How can I demand polite and respectful manners from my sons if I do not employ them in my own daily life? The last few weeks I have been taking an inventory of my life. What do I place value in? What is truly important to me? Where are my failings as a wife, mother, woman of faith? Where are my successes and why are they successes and not failures? I've mentioned before that I am grateful to be learning alongside my children. I wish to be vulnerable with them and let them see work through problems as an adult. Discipline. It's something everyone at the bungalow needs.

I've started with my time. In November, I'll become the mother of three kids under the age of three. Time is of the essence. Not merely so that I can complete my daily list of tasks which include: cleaning, cooking, writing, bathing, playing, and in general, keeping small people alive. But savoring my time with them. Enjoy those small moments that are gone too soon.

I want the boys (and whoever else is on the way) to have an appreciation for time and time well spent. The Bear is already beginning to grasp the concept of "work," although in its most basic sense. He likes to "work" along side me. I love that he is placing value on working with his hands already. He also knows that Mommy loves reading her Bible. He knows and speaks the name of Jesus. I want the kids to see the importance of Christ in my life and in Js. But reading and walking in scripture are tough disciplines, ones that I am always working hard at. We are starting to read aloud stories from the Bear's Children's Bible. Its a truly wondrous time, to watch him discover the Bible and witness the understanding that Jesus loves him always. I love that though he is so small, he is already learning the value of time management and the ever important discernment of which activities add value to his life.

Cubby and I are working on the discipline of patience together. Its tough. He is only 1 and I have been impatient for over a quarter of a century. I'd say we are about neck and neck as far as progress goes. Tending a garden has helped, it is a discipline of patience and deliberate action. Once you make a decision with a garden, its hard to turn back from that. A lot of patience and careful thinking need to go into it first. Its great practice for parenting. As soon as Cubby can grasp a few more basic concepts he'll be tending his own little garden plot. In fact, every one of my children will always have a small bit of earth to claim responsibility for. We'll see how the next few years of life unveil as Cubby and I learn this tough discipline together with our little gardens.

My greatest discipline is learning to pray. I've prayed my whole life. But only recently have a I learned the true meaning of prayer and it has forever changed my perspective as a Christian. This partially occurred during my study of the book of John this year at Bible Study Fellowship. I love how very clear Jesus is with us and his disciples concerning how we are to walk and what his role as the Son of God is. I was amazed when I read John 17 and saw the words Jesus spoke in prayer to his Father for himself, for his disciples, and for all future believers.

I tend to think a lot about what kind of woman I want to be in my old age. But as J reminded me last night on our date night, we really should always think about what kind of man or woman we want to be in our 20s, 3os, 40s, etc. And so I am taking all this inventory and hoping that in the end I can walk away with five or six solid disciplines that I can work on as I head into the last half of my 20s. Not learning a new language or how to paint a mural, but five or six disciplines, be they character or spiritual, that will teach me to be a better wife, mother, woman of faith. Hopefully it will in turn, cultivate a love of discipline in my own children. When its all said and done, I really believe that discipline rooted in God's love gives my family the greatest freedom could we will ever experience.