The boys were eating their lunch and Cubby told me he had to use the potty.
We didn't make it in time.
Cubs pooped on the floor just as The Babe began crying for a feeding. The Bear watched the pandemonium in silence. Cubs wailed, thinking he had failed. He is usually flawless when it comes to his potty time. I tried to reassure him while sanitizing his hands and the floor and also comforting The Babe as best I could from across the room.
"I am going to cry!" I wailed in misery.
The Bear's head came up and he said, "Oh no, Mom! Don't cry!"
I walked to him and gave him a hug.
He reached up and began stroking my hair.
He then said, "Please don't cry, Mom. Because you are a girl. If you cried it would be just awful."
I looked up in surprise and then tears really did flood my eyes.
When did he learn the difference between boys and girl? Where did he learn the word awful? How do you go from being a needy baby one moment to a caring, compassionate and thoughtful little human being the next?
Early this morning I sat at the dining room table working quietly on my Bible study. Rather, I tried to work on my Bible study while the kids danced around me, alternately fighting and asking questions. I was studying Isaiah 40. Learning about the sheer massiveness of my God, I tried to wrap my mind around all he could do. I pondered the amazing fact that He was not created, that he is infinite coupled with the incredible fact that He has always been and always will be.
But as you can imagine, it was quite difficult to really meditate on these enormous thoughts when all around me little people are running, shouting, leaping and making more noise than a three ring circus.
I gave up after a while and went over to our piano and spontaneously decided to grab a hymnal. Then began singing worship songs for my Lord.
The boys have never really heard me sing. They have heard me sing little children's songs but they have never quite heard my full voice. I have sung on very few occasions in the last five years. The joy of music was lost to me after a traumatic event in college. But this morning, I found joy in it once more. After I finished the first song, I noticed a strange sound in my home.
The sound of silence. Complete and total silence.
The Bear stood looking at me with wide eyes.
"Mom" he finally managed, "You are a great singer."
I smiled from ear to ear and thanked him.
"No really," he insisted, "You are awesome."
He spent the rest of the morning telling me so. I smiled every single time.
After he comforted me at lunch time, I thought back to his words earlier this morning and realized that his compliments were mimicked affirmations that I constantly give my boys. They try something new and I am always quick to say, "You are amazing," "You are doing a fantastic job," and "I am so proud of you." He has learned how to affirm people and be kind. He has learned compassion and caring. He is a kind person.
This means so very much to me. Beyond all the alphabet letters, numbers, potty training and memorized animal species, this holds so much more weight for me.
My son is kind. Its evident in the things he says.