Home Sweet Home

A few weeks ago, the Bear absolutely refused to sing in my presence. Now, we can't get him to be quiet. He is singing all the time. One day he wasn't making a peep and suddenly the next, he was a songbird, glued to a tree branch just outside my bedroom window, unwilling to leave or go to sleep without first chirping 36 rounds of Old MacDonald.

He decided to sing by himself one day in the car. It was a glorious fifteen seconds of maternal pride for me and quite the victory for him. He sounded like an angel and I felt awe for his sudden bravery.

Its in those moments of sudden discovery or achievement, when I am flooded with overwhelming gratefulness that I am able to stay home with them all day, every day. I realize that not everyone has the choice to stay at home. Thankfully, my husband is more than happy to live with me in the small world of tight budgets so that I can stay home with our boys. And believe me, there is nothing I treasure more than being able to stay home with them.

I am honored to bear witness to their childhood. The thought of someone else being that witness in my place, breaks my heart. I have a few girlfriends who shudder at thought of staying home longer than necessary, not out of any distaste over spending time with their own children, but because they feel cooped up and listless after so many endless days of the baby routine. Whenever we speak they ask, "How can you stand it? I love my kids, but all day, every day? I couldn't do it! You should think about going back to work!" Sometimes the temptation creeps up and I think maybe I could drop them off at a daycare twice a week so that I can have more time to write my book. Hmm, uninterrupted writing time. Tempting, indeed. Those thoughts usually creep up on me when I am scraping spaghetti goo off the dining room floor or vacuuming the couch cushions for the third time in two days.

Inevitably, something miraculous happens even as I am thinking those very practical and reasonable thoughts. Someone remembers that the number five comes before the number six. A little voice suddenly says, "more, please" as if they have been saying it all along. Someone wraps their arms around my leg and squeezes tightly before looking up at me and saying, "Love you, Mama," for the very first time. Someone finally figures out that difficult puzzle and I see a beautiful victory smile spread across a pair of delicious chubby cheeks.

Then I think to myself, book shmook. I can write while they sleep. I wouldn't miss this moment for anything, and I return to the spaghetti on the floor.

If we stayed cooped up in our home every day with only eating and sleeping to look forward to...I would go bonkers, its true. But I've made it an important priority to actively LIVE well and use every moment as a teaching opportunity for my kids. Yes, its as exhausting as it sounds, but this is how I keep from going crazy.

The Bear starts his violin lessons with the Suzuki program next week. I am hoping to get a solid start in the Suzuki discipline over the summer before we begin homeschooling this fall. Our lessons and school house plans are drawn up and ready. I have their schedules nailed down and marked out to the minute. It sounds crazy, but staying busy with learning, really helps us to love each other more.

For example, we have year round passes to Parrot Jungle Island and Metro Zoo. I love that whenever the kids get a rowdy bout of cabin fever, I can take off with them to a place with no furniture or quiet spaces. I can let them act like crazy animals because they are surrounded by animals. Would I rather spend the day scolding and dragging my 16 month old off the furniture or would I rather let him run around like a free man in front of the monkey cage? Not a hard debate, folks.

We don't just stay home and sit around waiting for lunch. We play, we discover, we get outside and play in the dirt, we find out just where that caterpillar lives and we remember to visit often. We learn to love each other in better ways, every day.

So for everyone who has asked me the "Are you going back to work?" question recently... the answer is no.

I am staying home sweet home, staying busy and spending the occasional Thursday in front of the monkey cages at Parrot Jungle.